Eight Things About My Birthday
I love being the center of attention on my birthday. I love having a big party. As a child I always wanted a restaurant party even though I knew on some level that my parents couldn’t really afford them. They would always have a little tête-a-tête to work out the details, and a handful of cash would go from my father’s hands to my mother’s. All my friends had restaurant parties- McDonald’s, Chuck E. Cheese, Papa Gino’s, the local ice cream sundae place. I wanted what my friends had. I hid behind behind my birthday parties. I was ashamed of my family being poorer than many other families in my community. And I wanted to be fussed over. I wanted to be the birthday girl.
My favorite party as a kid was the one at the ice cream sundae place. I have no idea how old I was. My father took me there occasionally, sometimes with my grandmother. He had me on Sundays and they lived together nearby. I remember spooning toppings on to my huge glass of vanilla ice cream at the party, a big table full of my friends with my parents and grandmother hovering nearby.
Relatives usually gave me cash in my birthday cards and while I dreamed of what toys I might buy with it, the cash disappeared into my bank account or so I thought. Sometimes I thought about how much must be there, all those fives and tens and twenties. Years later my mother told me she’d spent it all on our groceries.
My birthday is three days before Valentine’s and I always told boyfriends I expected not to get cheated out of a Valentine’s gift. My first serious boyfriend said he wasn’t used to “making a big deal” of things like this, so I made sure he learned.
In 1998 I chose my husband to date exclusively over another guy I’d been seeing casually at the same time because Jeff remembered to call me on my birthday and the other guy didn’t. I thought, this is a thoughtful man; this man knows how to make me feel special. I wasn’t wrong. Every year he makes a huge fuss for me and I love every second of it.
For my 30th my inlaws threw me a catered party at their house. Ahead of time, my mother gave me a scrapbook she made but then couldn’t come to the party itself because she wasn’t feeling well. It was incredibly disappointing an I still don’t know what to believe about that.
I had a big blow-out party for my 40th but I was dying inside the whole time because my period was late and I was terrified that I might be pregnant. I tried to keep it cool but it was a long night. I even took a pregnancy test. Thankfully it was negative!
I stopped having big parties but for my 50th we went to Disney and it was my birthday all week long. Technically the trip was meant to celebrate both my and Jeff’s 50th, which was a few months earlier. I wore the pin they give you and ate some free cupcakes and people said “Happy Birthday” to me all week. Disney is a great way to celebrate if you can’t have a party at home.
Trash Haiku
Birthday parties are
great because all your friends come
and eat cake you made.
Thanks for reading. My birthday was two weeks ago so no need to say happy birthday. I have movie and TV and Broadway and book and writing stuff to talk about but I’ll save that for next week.
Happy Post-Birthday!!